I am just a normal, everyday person. Because I know the rain falls on the just and unjust, I’ve chosen not to analyze my life’s trials as a “woe is me.” Instead, I chose to work on my attitude (and lean on my Faith) to get me through it all.

At first, it was just survival. Yet, over time I realized that there was purpose to all trials. By getting through them in a mentally healthy way, I found I was growing as a person. And, the healthier I became as a caregiver, the better it was for the person I was caring for.

Whether a trial was surrounding sickness and/or death, this became a deeply personal issue of transitional preparation. I would ask myself, “How and what am I going to contribute to this situation?” It took me going through several situations to really “get” how important my attitude was to the equation.

Personal example:  I brought my Grandma Saluccio home to live with me after my dad passed away. She was 96 at that time and a very difficult woman. She was with me for 3 years. Her last year she thought a lot about her death and made a list of “requirements” for me to do with respect to her burial. I did not have a lot of money at that time and her wishes were huge and expensive. Yet, I knew it had to be done “or else” (haha).  For instance, she wanted a Cherry wood casket, blue silk lining inside the casket, wanted to be buried with her bible, with a corset on, and in a certain outfit, wanting a priest out of the area to handle her service at her grave site, also out of the area.

Life was hectic already with a severely disabled husband, 3 kids (and 2 other kids living with us), plus I worked full-time. I knew it was important to honor her wishes, so I had to find a way. We called the Coroner and asked if we could build her casket ourselves and transport her body out of the area. No requirements to build and a permit to transport. Everyone thought we were a little crazy. But my husband, a good friend, my sister and I all decided to do it. We stained an affordable wood the cherry wood color, bought the silk and padding and glued it into the inside, hired the priest, picked up her best friend and proceeded to drive her to the grave site 3 hours away. And, we not only got it all done but it only cost $800.00 since we did it ourselves. This was affordable for my sister and I, and we were able to let her rest in peace and we could rest knowing she was respected (dignity). Believe me, she was a mean old woman (some times she’d spit on me) and yet I love her unconditionally so that she could have that peaceful transition.  For me, I was able to move forward without regret. My sister too.

Moral of the example: We had to let our HEARTS lead to do the right thing.  It was our attitude that saw us through (and our Faith). It was hard work, but more rewarding in the big picture.

Trials usually creep up on us all. Tragedies happen In The Blink of An Eye (such as my daughter’s brain damage); hence our Foundation website: http://www.BlinkofanEyeFoundation.org. Sickness can hit and it is unknown how long it will last. Death can be sudden, expected or come where we are totally caught off guard. However, if your toolbox is empty and the weight of the situation is on you and your attitude is stuck, the outcome will be less desirable.

I have experienced all of the above and while in survival mode, my toolbox was empty. Over time I’ve learned to ‘almost instantly’ turn my attitude around by reaching into my inner toolbox and embrace whatever is going on, knowing I will not only get through it, but may be able to help someone else in the process. Results: My inner peace has grown, my energy level increased – making me more able. I have witnessed better outcomes and literal miracles. Seeing miracles builds ones faith for whatever else might come!

No one is free from stuff happening in life. How we respond is what matters.  My husband teases me in that my initial response for one second is to scream (LOL)…THEN I become the most stable and enduring person for the bigger picture. Maybe I need that first scream to FEEL and then the attitude kicks in?  And, a good attitude doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings or moments of crying or grief or … But overall a joy can be found in the midst of the storm.

Thanks for visiting me and allowing me to blog into your world 🙂

Blessings,

Sandy