Hello. My name is Sandra Castrogiovanni-Harp. I am a caregiver.

What are my credentials for giving advice about Caregiving? My trials and experiences in Life!

As a young child roaming the streets of Alameda, I found myself finding people to take care of: a runaway, elderly neighbors, etc. By age 10 I became responsible for my new baby sister.  I then raised her from age 12 through Graduation from High School.

As a young adult, I married a disabled man with juvenile diabetes, kidney failure and heart disease. Our lives were directed by his care and health needs. This was where my toolbox of skills truly developed as life was getting hard and I wanted to hold onto joy in the midst of these extreme challenges. He and I had 3 children together (as well as another daughter from his first marriage that I loved as my own, too) plus took in others’ kids plus my grandmother too, increasing my learning curve as a caregiver.

My adopted dad became ill when I was 34 and I was able to care for him for one month up until he passed away. Unfortunately, that led to me being in an almost fatal car accident, taking 14 months for me to recover. God must have known I had a destiny to still care for others, so my life was spared miraculously.

Sadly, my first husband passed away at age 50.

Subsequently, I was able to care for my mother for 4 months before she passed away and my step-dad for nearly 2 years before he passed. Each person had different needs and created different challenges within me. I realized new tools were needed to allow me to carry on with my heart leading.  Most of my tools were found by reaching out to God for help and He never failed me. I also had to imagine myself in their shoes and be honest about giving care with integrity as to how I’d want to be treated.

All of the above life-experiences shared are on my caregiver Resume, but my biggest challenge came almost 6-years-ago when my baby daughter, then 21, suffered massive seizures, leaving her with a severe Anoxic Brain injury (from years of struggling with anorexia, etc.).  I have been caring for her at home with my husband (her step-dad) for 5 years. Now almost 27, she remains non-cognitive, vegetative, requiring 24/7 care (she is like a small baby with primitive, reflexive behaviors; a lot of flailing, loud sounds, feeding tube, diaper changes). She also seldom sleeps, so overall her care is very difficult. Of all of my experiences stated, this definitely is the most powerful and a job I will do for the rest of my life. And, I am no spring chicken! But, with the right attitude and toolbox in play, I do have a blessed life in spite of its limitations as a caregiver.

My goal as a caregiver has always been to give Care with Dignity for the person being cared for.  Going the extra mile with a smile! It is hard work, yes! But being a caregiver where you give your best and have an inner peace for your own health is key!  This requires having a good and enduring attitude, as well as energy for staying positive. This does NOT come naturally. It is like going to the gym to get fit – you are working hard to apply tools that shape your heart and mind so that the outcome is win-win.

So often people “see” that a situation looks hopeless so they give little and then give up.  This Caregiving Toolbox Blog is to hopefully equip you with tools so that you can have hope, when hope might not be visible. And, give Dignity within the care no matter what. I will elaborate later but a quick example is that my mother had cancer and was losing her hair. She had her hair done regularly and liked it a certain style. While caring for her I would do her hair how she loved it, though it was so very fine. I’d make a big deal about our time doing her hair and her smile was priceless. Now, as I care for my daughter, now 26 and 100% helpless – I still pluck her eye brows, shave her legs and put lotion on her body as well as try to dress her cute each day. My mindset is that if she ever woke up – I’d want her to see how well cared for she was…that she was ready to go. These are for me examples of giving dignity to a person.  More stories to come.

I hope and pray that my blog is helpful to you. My toolbox was developed over time and through a lot of pain. My desire is to make it easier for others to embrace their tragedies, allowing them to experience the transition to triumphant living – even as a caregiver. You have purpose!

Lastely, just by being a caregiver and caring – You are making a difference!

Sincerely,

Sandy